My Life as an Amoeba

At the darkest most inspiring moments in my life, I sometimes close my eyes and try and un-evolve to point of being an amoeba. I picture myself as one, and this brings me great comfort. Before you think that I have numerous screws rattling around in my head, let me explain my reasoning.

Firstly Amoeba’s are totally unaware of their own existence; therefore, they cannot develop inner issues. Life is pretty simple as an amoeba, you don’t sit for hours and contemplate the reason behind your existence, and you just float around in a sea of indifference.

Secondly due to the fact that they do not have any discernable shape, they don’t have issues about their body. They don’t really believe that they fat and need to up the time on the treadmill and decrease the time that they spend eating junk food. In fact amoebas are pretty happy being a wobbly blob of organic matter.

This takes me on to the fact that amoeba’s do not have split ends, due to the fact that they do not have hair. They don’t look longingly at Pantene ads, wishing that there hair could somehow portray the same lustre and shine. In fact they don’t even have a head so they don’t have itchy scalp or any other hair related issues.

But mostly Amoeba’s don’t have hearts and a brain that sends impulses that induce emotion. This means that they never truly know the meaning of heartache and pain. They don’t have to find another amoeba that likes them, back, only to have the feeling of rejection settle in for what seems like the hundred time.

Amoebas don’t fall in love and get to a point of believing that they have finally found the one person that understands them, and fills a void in their lives that no one else will ever be able to. Amoeba’s don’t have hands that clutch the phone waiting for that person to call, after what seems like eons of silence. Phones don’t get put down in their ears, and memories do not flood their brains.

However at the end of my great amoeba fantasy I realise that amoebas may have pretty cool lives, but they never really experience the true beauty of the world. For it is through the hurt and pain that we can truly experience pleasure.

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